Emotional Intelligence
“Emotions are not good or bad; they are messages within us that need to be acknowledged and understood.”
-Beth Oliver
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is our preparedness to recognize, show restraint, and form an opinion on emotions.
We can achieve this by:
Accurately perceiving emotions, understanding body language and non-verbal cues in ourself and others.
Using emotions to encourage thinking.
Understand that emotions can have a range of meanings to different people based on their experiences.
Self-regulating our own emotions and responding with curiosity and without judgment toward others.
Emotions verses Feelings:
Emotions:
are felt in the body.
are an unconscious response.
are intuitive and similar among people.
are intense but short-lived; coming and going quickly.
are experienced first.
are processed in the emotional areas of the brain.
keep us alert to danger and help move us toward rewards.
Feelings:
are interpretations of emotions.
are a conscious response.
are personal and influenced by our unique experiences.
are less intense but can linger for more extended periods.
are experienced second.
are processed in the thinking parts of the brain.
help us to name our physical response so we can tame the intensity.
Name it to Tame it…
When we label what we feel, we create a bridge or a network between the thinking and emotional areas of our brain. Putting words to emotions helps define and give meaning to our lived experiences. We can help make sense of what is going on inside us by doing this.
Making art is a way to help us link our internal experiences to external expression. By naming and labeling what we feel, we develop and expand our emotional granularity, helping us feel calmer and improving our overall well-being.
Allowing us to:
be more accountable and accept criticism.
say no.
share our feelings.
have empathy.
not be judgmental.
create better listening skills.
solve problems.
understand ourself.
Think about it…
What emotion are you feeling in this moment?
Where do you experience this emotion in your body?
Can you name the feeling related to the emotion?
What is that emotion saying to you?
The following is a tool to help answer these questions. In the center are six basic emotions of what you may feel; mad, afraid, happy, surprised, loved, and sad.
Branching out from the emotions in coordinating colors are different words for feelings. This is a visual example of a bridge between our emotions and feelings. There are thousands of terms to express our feelings; this is a small sample to get you started.
Sometimes doing this activity alone can be overwhelming. If so, stop and find a trusted trauma-informed therapist to help you slowly and safely navigate this practice.
